Friday, July 10, 2009

this is the part where i should be happy posting about how happy i was when i came back malaysia YES .. it was good while it lasted .. before it was being ruined by peoples .. I don't find the point why u want to hide things from me a simple thing like i don't want to go because bla bla bla i think its really easy if you could tell me and made my life simple . i don't find the reason why you would need to say ur 50 /50 and felt like going and asked me not to tempt you when you don't feel like going u made things worse when you asked ppl to lie for you and u made me look like a complete fool .. and the next bitchy part of it was why in the world would you need to fucking call me out and just tell me we would hang out and yet just left us stranded there . what was your whole idea .. do you think its funny when i came all the way out and then u just expect me to just go home just because u dun want to go .. maybe u should tell me earlier so that we could just go for our own plans .. its time you think of urself.. i felt like a complete dumb ass i dun see ur point thats one of the most pathetic shiit i've gone through .. seriously next time i have thoughts of inviting you .. u made me felt like i am a stupid dumb ass and i shall take the extreme measures to not acknowledge ur existence you can just go missing form my life thats all i can say ..

well i know that another guy was caught victim on my rage but then i am not a fault i think if you think that i am annoying then i shall not pester you thats all i can say . i never did anything beyond persuading but i would think that annoying was a lil extreme when you mean it .. i would accept applogies and also listen to what you have to say . because i know my mood was not good but i am not totally wrong . sighs what a shitty day !

feeling small at 12:24 PM

Sunday, July 05, 2009

i always find that when weak people finds the strong for courage and how does the strong ones seek for courage . Everybody in this world has its own weaknesses some fear the sense of being bullied some fear the sense of being lonely and some pathetic ones fear the sense of boredom . and yet i am the very few ones who fear boredom and loneliness and apart from that i have also many other fears as well . I fear the part of my life that is now everything is hanging by a thread and i know nothing of its progression this accounting assignment has been bothering me for a very long time and it had made me loose my mood for the holidays and been down and sulk at home . i seriously would make drastic decisions just because i fail i might consider not studying its not like i failed but then due to my friend's carelessness has made this situation become shiity .. if not iwould not need to care about entering degree at all .. all the endless efforts that i put in to work things out would just vanish in just an blink of eye . I find that i am always hanging by a thread at some point of my life ... not to mention that others find me like a perfectionist i don't intend to be one .. but i dun intend to be a failure .. and failing means i really disgrace my parents i really hate this feeling in me now that makes me wanna strangle the duo and the lecturer and the coordinator as well .. for keeping things hanging in a thread .well apparently results would be release soon and i hope it does not break my hopes .. i would not like to stay in tafe for another sem wasting precious time doing nothing but that shiit subject i am serious !

feeling small at 6:14 PM

Saturday, June 27, 2009

there is always a time where things come to end and everything will certainly come to an end in a way you could not stop it . no matter how hard you try to keep it everybody come to a stage where we move on. All of us move along in our own very life , and when times like this are the hardest thing in life where you have to be separated from your friends .. heh .. its a sad but yet its for the very best .. in years to come i will remember the whole year we spend here in Melbourne its one of the very best thing that was bestow onto my on top of my other blessing .. this year has made me grow wiser and shaped me into facing more of the world .As we all know in this world people come in all shape and size , but we should never judge a person by their appearance because you may miss out the most valuable characteristic of the person . For those of you who read often , you ought to know what course i am doing and if everything goes well .. i should be proceeding to year 2 next semester , nothing to be strange of . and this is the time where i have to bid farewell to all those whom are dear to me . all of us went through loads in this one year .. we made it through together and it really means a lot to me .this year has shown me a lot of things. something that may seem so normal maybe a hard thing to achieve for others and you should never be ashamed with your short coming as they are compensated with other blessing and you should always be treasure them . Most of my classmates are from china and it wonders me to see how they strive to learn english like me learning how to read chinese . well i've improved a lot and apart from that i also manage to learn how to look into things in the other point of view to get the whole picture . Well i may have been good towards you or not that is only left to be judge by the person and i would not care if you want to judge me for the person i am . i stand on both my feet and tell you straight that i don't judge but i am not perfect so do not make me start judging when i start it means you've really got attitude problem . well not to mention names but i don't like the idea of people treating you like slave and on top of that when i tried to avoid possible conflicts you tried to make thing worse . i should not be blame for being me and i am also not to be blame for things that was your short coming . i know as people of the rich u are spoiled to the bone but sometimes you have to know not everybody thinks of you of that especially when i know you for such short time . It was already very nice of me to give face to you . well i do not wish to rant further but what is the use of threatening me when doing it would make things worse u could not confirm with me earlier and you think that i would give in . If you wish to threaten me think of what your trying to use against me . If i am doing this i am doing it out of a favor not that i am employed or owing you money .. on the other hand , coming from a rich family u should reconsider your the way you spend your money . I may not wear branded stuff but i am living a good life . WHAT IS THE POINT OF WEARING BRANDED STUFF WHEN YOU CAN'T EVEN AFFORD SOMETHING CHEAP . i am really amuse by people of such when you play , play properly when you do things made them clear , when you help people you should not think of getting the same repayment . i am not the kind of person that would give in to such pathetic shits . think of how much your worth b4 talking terms with me . atleast if you go on persuading me i would give in but choosing to threaten me was a very wrong choice if we are not fated to be friends that would be alright i had enough anyways.

well thats for rubbish ranting that i could not care less .
now for the most disturbing shit in my mind would be of the fucking swine flu .i wish to strangle all the pigs alive for causing this shiit .. and the worse part of it its making me waste time in melbourne . How come MAS is so shitty . budget airlines cost 38 to change while mas cost a grand slamming 750 aud i mean seriously whats the point if i am paying for shitty service . it came to a point where i am seriously planning to take airasia next time i go back ..i am seriously proposing a boycott for MAS if they are planning to rip customers off .. i bought the ticket for 1k aud its 650 aud for the ticket and the remanings are the credit card charges and also the air port tax and wanting to change the air ticket means i am paying for a new ticket AND ALSO A FUCKING ADMIN FEES . WHY WOULD I DO SO ? THATS THE DUMMIEST SHIIT I EVER HEARD AND THE POINT THAT THEY HAD THE MADE THE ANNOUNCEMENT THAT CHANGING TICKETS WOULD BE POSSIBLE BUT WHEN I 1ST BOUGHT THE TICKET MELBOURNE WAS NOT INFECTED WITH SWINE FLU AND SO WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS ? I WAS STRUCK DUMBFOUNDED

OH WELL.. something happy i have some cash to spend .. i think.. and i have the whole apartment to myself after tomorrow .. that might be a sad sad thing but then i think i would survive .. i stocked up and loads of junk food and also series i plan to become a potato couch how lifeless am i .. i always find that my life aren't as interesting as what others lived but in terms of adventures . i never traveled outside of klang valley on my own with my friends on car -.- i've been to genting .. my hopes are burst when it comes do doing things related to car . i dun have a car of my own and to other people it may sound so awesome and all i wonder who can i fetch .. maybe i should find myself a girlfriend and then settle be on our own way to some little fun and relaxation i could use some of that .. well this is certainly a very long post because i am free now ..thx for reading .. and if you have any questions u can ask me directly and please do not make assumptions of who may the person i am describing because you would be wrong ..

feeling small at 11:53 AM

Saturday, June 06, 2009

well i have been spending alot recently . suddenly i have the urge to spend money and i felt very bad because i am spending alot of money at one shot .. its almost like i am printing money my recent purchase includes 3 polo tees from RPL a new wallet from gucci and a lacoste bag those are just the very few to begin with on top of that i bought a pair of shoe ..and a RPL windbreaker .. and also perfumes... like 2 bottles of them ..sighs but then they are mostly on sale .. well as for my gucci wallet i am actually liking it but then it has a high price to pay.. i dun know why when i use it .. i spend money even more !! hahah .. well as for image.. here is the new wallet :)





i've been thinking alot lately .. it seems like i am a very complicated person .. haha.. well for starters i have issues against myself .. i can't find the reason to study ! whenever i open the book i have problem keeping my eyes open and this is hunting me for ages .. well .. other then that.. i always think that i would like to be free and away from relationships but then i've never really think about it :) and i have alot of friends that are going in and out of it and some bad and some good ones. . i've recently meet up with a friend of mine that i totally lost contact with .. we actually meet once only and it was about last year i called him up to ask him to come meet me but yet that bitch only came and meet me this year XD hahha .. well he does not read my blog so yeah .. his actually in a very bad state judging that he came to me :) ppl who come to me wants to become another person i don't know why ! hahah it seems like when they want a new life they come to me and i change them ? how about me ? who do i go to ! hahah..well i recently moved to a new apartment its awesome .. and well just for starters it has its own foosball table and a 360 .. and i can play wee.. hahah i sound like a small kid.. so back to the person i was talking about .. he spend 4 years with a girl and did so much for the girl but in the end the girl's reply was just wanting to be friends well .. for starters its not like i want to say anything at all at the moment cuz i am in no state to judge the girl but overview of the girl was not really attractive and with my friend's overview i think he deserve better .. but my friend claims that he sees future with that girl .. thats what he calls love blindness it seems .. hah .. so at the moment i don't know whats the best for him but just let him be .. well i always knew that i am not a good guy .. not the very best choice for a boyfriend .. that would be one of the reasons i am still single now .. not that i have any comments about it . and it seems like my friend has alot to say about me but then i admit there is the very stage in life where u just feel like settling down and get serious with everything you're doing and maybe if in the rear future that time comes i would welcome it with open arms .. somehow i always ends up having mix feelings i wonder was it always me or am i just being ignorant . am i always sensitive or was my feeling right .. well time will tell .. as for now .. maybe just let it be .!


recently i've been thinking alot and most of the time i think about being in a life where everything goes as i plan .. well my plans aren't as far from reality for the moment .. i've made everything that i wanted possible .. but then again .. its never harmful to dream .. so my perfect fairy tale.. LOL this sounds like a very wrong post .. well i've ran of of topics .. other then being busy for the next few weeks due to assignments. . so might as well do some typing now .. i know my blog is dead ..i know the only person who reads my blog are those who know me personally and has the intention to know me more in a way understanding my thoughts .. well for starters the live i've always dream about was being able to get through all my exams and get into aussie and get through my uni and go back and work so far i am on the right track .. well from that i intend to move to work .. then when i work i make sure i give my very best until the day i retire alots of ppl know what age i want to retire .. lol ...i am lazy i know but then well yeah ...and then when i retire i would just do all the things i like without following any particular order .. well i have tons of things i wan to do .. so .. thats parts and parcel about my life ..then next part .. the girl of my dream .. i've always dream to date a girl who has her own unique personality i do have high demands .. but then the girl must be presentable and well care for me .. hahahah ... i do believe that i would like the girl to do the 10 percent while i do the 90 percent of the love i sounds very wrong what i am trying to mean here was to let the girl make the 1st move and i will continue from that part onwards .. hahah well maybe its hard .. but i will wait no worries i've got time .. and then live life being happy .. but oh well lives are full of wonders i would give it the benefits of doubt for now .. but then god has made my life in a way that i am happy .. thx you god :) hahaha


okay... there was alot of unexpected events which happen recently but then again .. things would be better as time go .. i do belief that you can live life as how you choose it to be .. hahha ... i series of questions that ponder on my doorstep making me wonder how i should be like and who should i be someday .. it does not mean anything much if i would just lay around and be lazy . the world would move and i would still be there same .. i should move my lazy and start working on a future plan for my future .. i am trying to change to be a better person .. i always think that the person you are now and the person you see 10 years back and 10 years from now would always be different some change for the very best and some would become the very worse but i am trying to be better .. i know i've not been nice at most times .. i am not being kind nor being a good friend to some of you .. i know only a few ppl has the link and reads my blog .. hah which is a good thing .. hahah .. so i would try and change to be better to be more caring to be less mean and the most crucial change is to be more patience .. i am impatience and so i hope that there is alot i am in need to change .. give me time :) hahhaha ... anyway these are just random thoughts because i am being random in class LOL !! dam tired.. and sleepy and bored.. with class !!


so this is where i come to everything has change for some better for some worse .. for starters its going to be a sad day for my family as my grandmother just passed away recently . may you rest in peace .. although we never agree on anything .. but then i just hope that you moved on and life a great life .. 2nd on my list was i was suppose to fly back for a short trip for my grandmother's funeral .. but then well lets just put it in short words .. not worth it .. and then there is this part of me that went crazy and fork out 800 bucks on shopping .. which resulted in an major wallet hole burning .. well then its all worth it .. anyways back to updates apart from that my friend came over to visit me .. well it was alright .. we did have our share of fun .. although we used to have our own problems .. but then this time round it was alright .. atleast he wasn't prone to insults as he used to be .. but then he still looses his temper on and off .. hah ... but then well his a simple person with a simple belief he has his own visions and his somewhat to say innocent .. for his age .. but then overall he is a nice guy .. hah .. i still remember the good old days where i was a noob and i need transport to get around .. he was always offering a helping hand .. hah ... i know his not that popular among ppl because of his actions and they way he act at times .. but then who are we to judge .. we are not perfect therefore we should understand each other's flaws and accept them for who are they .. as i said recently i am trying to change to be a better person .. i dun intend to be what i used to be and i dun intend to be mean at times .. i would try to understand ppl more and try to look at the bigger picture .. understand the story from the other person's point of view .. at the very least i should stop holding grudges or make any judgement base on a single event .. and a person shall always not assume and also be humble .. regardless of how powerful , rich , and influential you are .. and lastly i think living the life fully should be what is important be who you are and not who you intend to be . life fucks ppl up every moment of your life .. u will be faced with problems and these are the opportunity to shine .. therefore live life to not complain but to live as if the next dawn would not come .

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