hi ! everybody wooohoooo !!! cheers to the freaking weekend !

i am actually currently experiencing whats called life ! well being in my life certainly comes with a heck load of drama and deffo the element of surprise is always not so interesting but heck i am making whats there to do in life ! hah well recent events have place us all on a different side of the table. and if everything goes right ! i may have the power to change my life to a better state , everything i wanted lies on the very strand of life :( so tired but i enjoy every moment of it. well i am actually very content that i've lost a friend to gain many and again i lost one more to gain many AGAIN ! hahahahah lifeeee thats what i call dramatic :S my life is like a never ending cycle ! oh well ... thats all for now !! cheers ppl !! good luck in liffeeee everybody !


cheers to the freaking new year everybody !!! *fireworks*

as you all know blogging has been my thing for releasing stress. the only reason i come to blog is to actually release my stress !! i know that i don't have many readers infact i do not have any at all :D hehe well this year should be a good year as last year was somewhat good somewhat bad ! dramatic changes and dramatic people. as the tittle suggest i am faced with a simpleton mind person. GAWD !this is a rather painful experience that i wish other wouldn't have to face ! BETRAYAL HAS ALWAYS BEEN ONE OF THE LEADING ANTAGONIST in my life !well i am always faced with multiple face people . OR maybe in my presences they feel insecure and has the desire to backstab or betray. well in anyways life has so much to offer to them but they tend to take things for granted.

the story i wanna share with you revolves around me and my friend, one whom i call dear to and someone who used to be significant in my life, he was rather special ! not in the sexual way , i tend to classify him as my boyfriend in regards to my bestfriend. Well he has very good qualities that made me respect him and also treat him like my little brother. well not as much but he has alot of control in my life because i tend to pay more attention to words he speak of because they used to be unbias ! recently i am faced with a situation whereby this bestfriend of mine started dating a acquaintance of mine ! well this person is one hell of an ugly bitch both personality and appearance. she was lessbian and has a history of dating both men and women. THE LEADING INDICATION THAT THIS GIRL IS MESSED UP AS HER LEG IS OPEN AS OFTEN AS 7 11 IS ;D HENCE SLUT. well let alone her arrogance to actually spoil my friendship with my bestfriend is unforgivable .

now i don't want to mention names and i do not intend to go further on her actions and childishness but then let this statement alone tell the story . A BROTHER THAT CAN DESSERT YOU FOR SEX IS NOT A BROTHER INTEND, I'VE SPEND ENOUGH TIME DWELLING ON THIS MATTER AND I THINK by far i have rant too much among my peers in regards to seeking opinion and advice now i have already done my best in reconciling the relationship but this friend of mine stood very high up with huge arrogance and has the audacity to ignore me :)

let alone his foolishness dig his grave. i may not the best friend to others but i don't think i deserve to be disregarded so lowly . FOR ALL I CAN SAY PICK UR PATH PROPERLY AND NEVER REGRET UR MISTAKES


the emotions i am facing i somewhat depressing, during times like these i like to remind myself that i shouldn't ever place so much emotions in any form of relationship because things always go bad when it comes to me whoever the relationship is about. countless situation where i have encountered that changed my opinion towards friends and yet i still believe that there is always faith in the greater good of humanity.

Man and women all forms , race , ethics and background walks the earth , some whom are vicious , stupid , sly and truly just ugly. recently i've came across several stupid peoples and countless ugly people. But the one that i would like to emphasize most is my "best friend" the term for bestfriend usually meant the best of friends and ideally mutual, friends whom both recognizes both party as the most compatible of friends among countless friends . this friend in particular is a friend that i know since primary school and he's someone i've grown to trust and respect because he for one keeps his words and probably am exile from my world. Recently i did a huge mistake to bring him into my circle of friends . In the beginning everything was smooth and the pace taken wasn't really tough but then somehow things started getting ugly and of all my friend became stupid and blinded by "love" this love aint the ordinary love whereby i feel that things can be opened . the person he choose to date was indeed someone with much "history" and i recon everything done by them was pure childish . It came to a point where my sexuality preference was a doubt by my "friend" and he thought i was gay too *ironically speaking being nice to a person should be limited by gender? well then there was more than these and the fight went on for days . i find the fight rather pointless and i proposed that we forget about things , but then again things sparked because he than choose to hide things from me and then it became rather stupid .

on and on this story is rather pointless , i sincerely hope you would understand where i am coming from and i hope he wakes up from his blindness , but then i would emphasize that i know what kinda friend i am and i know my value and my position . if you think that you could discard me and then at a later point of time approach me i hope you better come with your best shot because i don't like this kinda thing. i offer to talk to you properly but yet you wanna be stubborn i was nice enough to ask for a clear cut answer and if this answer really requires u to think so much , the next time u try to talk to me i hope your prepared to wait :)


how pathetic i have become . i came to a point where i have to literally beg to be friend with another. sighs .. this is something i would always remember recently i lost two of my best friends whom i knew since very early stages in my life one that i grew fond of and another one was someone who was my comfort zone. needless to say these people are friends that i would accompany me through the walk of life. but recently perhaps i have jinx and cause the friendship to break. back during my birthday this year i was having the best time of my life having my girlfriend beside me and i was accompanied by fellow friends that i truly treasure but then 10 months down the road i came to a cross road where i am left without 2 best friend and a girl whom i liked. ironically i dun know whats happening but then somehow everything seems to go from bad to worse but then situations of other things have changed to be better. it seems like a particular person has torn our friendship apart with one and tried to break a few in another and i am deeply sadden by the fact that my once close friend refuse to talk to me. i am disrespected and truly disgrace myself to a point where i feel like i am practically pathetic ! honestly i have no idea why must i go through this friend crisis over and over again to learn that no matter how much effort i place in its always the wrong amount. its either god is playing pranks on me on i am just "phail.com" =.= this word friend really means alot to me and yet sometimes i feel like i've always get annoyed by the things they do. should i even consult him further and disgrace myself further ?


this really pains me to see how things are with my life at the moment . god has play its pranks on me making every word i say against me . i treasure my friends alot but i dun know why i have to cross path with those that i hold dear to and seriously this is getting a little annoying . i always have communication problem with peers now days and the situation has gotten worse. i do not wish to actually fight with them but then somehow it always ended up badly. i think i have a very high ego and this is killing me and the many friends around me . no matter how close we are i tend to just flare when i snap and then when i do seriously i would regret how i reacted but then i acted not without reasons but then the magnitude was beyond my control. honestly i think i should just stay away from my friends before i hurt them more because this is going out of control badly . One of the obvious reasons i am writing this is because i recently lost 2 of my childhood friends people that i hold dear to . at one point we were the closes and now everything has rumbled i seriously wanted to remedy it but then my efforts are render useless now .. and all i could say is i am sorry i overreacted . I think i am living in a denial and i think i have issues with alot of problems god has made this year such memorable yet torturing for me as a while i seriously wish i could have corrected my mistakes or maybe i should back of with my ego next time .


when i say life has been wonderful i ought to be lying and back to back i have always been burden by many factors in life that makes me become an introvert i can't keep up with a lot of things happening in my life and i would always come to a crossroad . This time i choose to leave my comfortable yet torturing life of Melbourne and come home to my sweet cottage :D

If you asked me what has been bothering me over the past few months , i would tell you same old same old .Ironically speaking i face the same routine here and yet it gets me every time because i hate a few things generally speaking betrayal , hypocrisy and the all time favorite *BACKSTABBERS* knowingly i ain't the brightest among all mankind and certainly ain't the best person to go to for a list of things.God has not been friendly to me in many ways alot of choices i've made weren't given an option to begin with and i would like to add that the choices weren't really sweet. But then all of god's doing has its reason to build a person for their up coming challenge in life.

lets start of with the things that happen over a certain period of time things that i personally felt embarrassed to mention , well its not like i have alot of fans or readers and i certainly know that the only person reading this blog would be me :D but well its gonna be a case of a "diary of a whimpy kid " well my life is sort of like his but then i am not stuck in between but i am the youngest ! being the youngest and i have not much authority to voice out my comments but then as time grew i had more power to give my 2cents worth of thought.

SOOO back to my past months , coming back to malaysia with my not so good results is a very sad factor and yes there weren't good but not too bad either yet i had problems entering uni in malaysia . my 1st choice of Monash had finally offered me a place in their "kind" establishment but with conditions and such extending my study period which i personally hate, my 2nd choice did not reply to me so i guess they are pathetic but my last application did the trick and now i am contemplating to see what exemptions that they would offer because i am reluctant to start the course all over again

during this duration i ended my 1 year relationship with someone that i did eventually love but yet fail hated how the relationship were , i guess i wasn't emotionally attached or i am not ready to be committed for a relationship but things are actually still alright we are friends and she left for new zealand already awhile ago before writing this she commented about the breeze she's enjoying in new zealand and told me not to be jealous .


I certainly had my share of bad moments dealing with friends and their communication issues , perhaps i don't have the required social skills to communicate with my peers anymore or somehow i became an introvert . i face with stress and burden from many aspect and i am certainly facing a quarter life crisis loosing direction of my ultimate goal.For starters i don't have a specific goal that i am aiming for and i certainly need a direction and time and finance not being on my side i have very little options that i could move.I am like a pawn in a chess game i can only take a step pace at one time.For others they were born to soar heights and move as the pleased.

well in the end friendships that matters to me turn out to be the ones that i should avoid yet i feel like i am an fool to think that they ought to be better once things change .. well i couldn't help if they like to take fools for granted :)


I KNOW I AM LATE !! I AM APPROXIMATELY 5 days late :D but happy new year to all :D may the 2011 be a pleasant and fruitful year for all my family and friends .

What i am writing today is a flashback memoir of 2010,

back during January 2010 a lot of things happen to me and there were ups and downs , but i am sure it has made me changed to be a better person . back then what i wanted most was to have fun in life because i recon life is too short to be wasted but life ain't simple for me because my life wasn't all bed of roses and yet i get to enjoy a really good summer holiday

feb 2010 was the month i finally got into another relationship till today :D she is just like a beautiful mess by jason mraz perfect but then everyone has their own flaw yet i thank god that i had her :)

march 2010 was a mighty busy month for me as it was a house hunting and house moving but in the end we had our very own little family with our ups and down but it was somehow something that we could look back and laugh about when we grow older

all the way till December we had a lots of events and parties which i truly enjoy enabling me to meet a lot of ppl and in the end of the year i spend my last day of 2010 in hong kong with my best friend :D in the hotel !! both of us was lazy and we decided to sleep in but i recon i was the best way to end 2010 reconciling on the past and enjoy good time chatting the night away :D

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