how pathetic i have become . i came to a point where i have to literally beg to be friend with another. sighs .. this is something i would always remember recently i lost two of my best friends whom i knew since very early stages in my life one that i grew fond of and another one was someone who was my comfort zone. needless to say these people are friends that i would accompany me through the walk of life. but recently perhaps i have jinx and cause the friendship to break. back during my birthday this year i was having the best time of my life having my girlfriend beside me and i was accompanied by fellow friends that i truly treasure but then 10 months down the road i came to a cross road where i am left without 2 best friend and a girl whom i liked. ironically i dun know whats happening but then somehow everything seems to go from bad to worse but then situations of other things have changed to be better. it seems like a particular person has torn our friendship apart with one and tried to break a few in another and i am deeply sadden by the fact that my once close friend refuse to talk to me. i am disrespected and truly disgrace myself to a point where i feel like i am practically pathetic ! honestly i have no idea why must i go through this friend crisis over and over again to learn that no matter how much effort i place in its always the wrong amount. its either god is playing pranks on me on i am just "phail.com" =.= this word friend really means alot to me and yet sometimes i feel like i've always get annoyed by the things they do. should i even consult him further and disgrace myself further ?

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